So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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