i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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