so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
