Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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