I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
