I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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