We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
