how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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