Are we in a gay sports bar?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
