You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
