yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
