I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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