sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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