the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just gargled with NyQuil
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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