after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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