real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
