i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
