The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
