Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize