he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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