your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your penis caused this!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
