So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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