omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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