Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize