Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
