I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We left the knife in your bed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
