I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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