so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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