Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
