hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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