yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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