I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
