We won't sleep together?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
