she woke up with a sticky ear
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
