my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
