got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
