this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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