just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
