Screwed.edu
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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