Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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