Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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