I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
