I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just invented taco cereal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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