Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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