My cat gives me a boner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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