A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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