Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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