We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
