ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dignity is for republicans.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
