its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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