dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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