ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You are the jesus of drinking
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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