your room smells of hookers.
And success
she woke up with a sticky ear
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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