I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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