That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize