I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize