Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
