You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
