Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
