ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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