just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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