I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
