Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
