nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
