He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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