I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Mom said you looked used
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
