I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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