he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
